I suspect your research was on young college men. I’m nearly 80. In my first college years 1957-61 no fellow student was allowed past the front parlor. In my second college years 1978-82 I was in seminary and people were sleeping together, but sort of expected to get married. From 1961 to 1973 I was married to the town magistrate and justice of the peace on an Indian reservation. No one was anything but very polite. In the ministry laypeople sometimes demanded or assumed sexual access. Other ministers were pretty accommodating. I was not. It was resented. Doing temp work in timber country meant it was assumed that if I were attractive enough, men would favor me with “dates” but not marriage. As soon as I hit fifty, no man could see me. I was invisible.

The few people I’ve known who were at Trump’s level mostly assumed they could have “anyone” they wanted in any way. I include Kenneday and Bill Clinton. Those who accommodate these folks for pay were probably the least conflicted of the bunch.

It’s worth getting up to the surface and dealing with it.

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